Wazee’s advice: Consequences of marrying from another tribe

            A Wednesday evening: apparently, we had just finished our VCD recording. Yes, you got it right…the St. Monica Catholic Church class of 2014 (Lower Kabete campus) has been working on this VCD production project, and I not only belong to the class of 2014 but also the choir. Nairobi matatu drivers (most) never keep time. This is especially so if you have hired their services.  They always delay as they try to make the required number of squadi in order to raise the daily payment for the matatu owner…we can’t blame them. Due to this delay, we were forced to turn the 2-hours wait in to a bonding session. Although I was literally mad at the driver and his tout for keeping us waiting, I must say the bonding session was amazing. Well, I wouldn’t mind such a delay in future especially if this particular person I was chatting to will be there. I must confess that I didn’t have enough of his stories…probably this was because I always feared talking to him; you know this person who sets your heart racing whenever you meet…please get me right!

            We were on the bench! A bench because we were doing the sort of Jeff Koinange’s thing…Q & A, though on very personal things…like when I will get married, the kind of a guy I am looking for as a marriage partner, and the complexion of this Mr. Right among other nitty-gritty. It also warranted the title ‘A bench’ because it was actually a bench placed on the studio’s corridor, probably meant for clients to rest. We explored many subtopics, I loved it...guess he also did! Of course the main topic was relationships bordering marriage; the kind of subtopics that are on every 8-4-4 system finalist’s tongue. I listened and paid attention to every word…even making some weird conclusions at some of his comments. Don’t mind the keen attention, I am looking!

            This particular subtopic did not go down my ear-canal very well; the do’s and don’ts as advised by his parents and wazees. In Gikuyu tradition a man can only sit among wazees if he has paid mburi cia athuri (Wazee’s goats). As for him, his father had already paid the ‘goats’ thus giving him a ticket to wazee’s meetings. It is during these meetings that a young man is asked if he has started looking! The wazee’s are usually very curious and eager to show you the right direction in terms of the tribe to marry from, the family, the complexion, the standard, and basically the qualities of a good wife material. They have life experiences which you can only ignore at your own peril and as they say…choices have consequences. From the wazee’s advice, choices have consequences if one marries from another tribe. The consequences are many but the one that pricked my ear was discontinuity of the Gikuyu tribe. 

           You may wonder why this ‘consequence’ pricked my eardrum: my brother once did a research about my parent’s true origin and found out that we are not pure Kikuyu’s. In fact, my mum is an Ethiopian plus Kikuyu, while my dad is a Kamba plus Kikuyu…probably this unravels the mystery of my complexion, which is rangi ya thao (the color of a thousand note). Just a reminder, I am looking!  Further, I am a strong believer of Ukabila Zi Society bible which preaches against tribalism. According to this bible, intermarriage would help cure negative ethnicity. 

            Needless to say, marrying from another tribe is a prerequisite for extinction of our tribes. I totally value our diverse ethnic cultures, values, and traditions. But does it mean that we should not intermarry? This can be a hot debate. During my four years in campus, I have realized that most young people have already been advised by their parents and wazee’s about this issue. Once, my girlfriend in campus told me that she was advised to avoid other tribes but Kisii (her tribe), Luo, and Luhya. I must say that she has strictly followed that advice because she only ‘attracts’ suitors from the above mentioned lands. As a matter of fact, all my campus friends attract suitors (get attracted to) from their tribes. For such a long time, I thought the attraction is a coincidence. I was wrong! Have you been advised by wazee’s, please get in touch with them. Personally, I have been out of touch with mine since my teen years and I think this is the high time I started seeking their advice because I am looking!

  By Gladys Muthara

Finance Major,

University of Nairobi.