A letter to my sisters
Snow white is no longer white, Cinderella is now in
high heels and sleeping beauty woke up.
I don’t make sense right now but let’s take a walk together and chat. There is
a fairy tale fantasy that girls in their 20s today are living in. The idea that there is someone somewhere who
wakes up very early every day while they are still asleep and at the end of the
month Mr. X owes them a salary for being pretty, for being sexy, for looking
good. While your mother is somewhere in
a tiny village at the foot of mount Kenya, the shores of Lake Victoria or the
plains of the Rift Valley saying a prayer each day for you after she invested
in a good education for you, you are busy sending messages to married men who
for God knows what reason should pay your rent, fund your weekend getaways with
your girls, foot your shopping bills and fuel that car which is not registered
in your name.
My dear sister, as you indulge in deep slumber there
is a woman Supreme Court judge who earned that position out of merit, so trust
me sleeping beauty woke up. Stop whining and wondering why you are 27 and there
is no sign you will ever get married any time soon. Those men you hang out with
every Friday are only with you because they don’t have to try so hard to get
you to tag along. The women they worked hard to impress are treated to
exquisite dinners at Sankara because darling you reflect what you attract. You
are with him at that dingy joint on Moi Avenue because to him that’s what you
deserve. Are you still wondering why he treats his wife better? Are you
wondering why you are an underground secret that cannot see light of day? Are
you wondering why his escapades with you must be kept under the wraps and must
take place at some secluded house he takes every cheap woman he picks from the
streets?
Why should we talk about equality when some of us
sit in houses the whole day and keep up with the Kardashians? I am sure those
American girls would be very grateful to know that you spend half your day’s
life watching them live theirs. They earn a living from your laziness darling.
Again those girls work extremely hard. Perhaps you could try keeping up with
them by at least setting up a socks line of your own. Those that fought for gender equality wanted
to raise a woman who could compete at the same level with the men. They wanted
girls to go to school so that they could unlock their full potential. So that
women could rise to positions such as senators, governors and even President
without being told ‘’you got it because you are a woman’’ or ‘’you must have
slept your way to the top.’’ They hoped to raise a woman who did not need a man
to achieve small things like having her hair made. They envisaged a society
where a woman would be respected for what she brings to the table and not
merely because of what lies between her legs. They hoped for a woman who could
bargain with her neck upwards.
So my dear sisters when you sit and wait, wait for a
man to finance your lifestyle simply because you can offer an already battered
part of your female anatomy, you are an embarrassment to the spirit and legacy of
women like the late Prof. Wangari Mathai and the rest who struggled to elevate
the African woman and indeed the entire human female species. If it’s 2 am and you happen to lose your shoe
sweetheart you are not Cinderella, you are drunk! If it’s Monday morning and
you are still in bed at 10am, you are lazy not sleeping beauty! As you approach
30 continue smoking sheesha, weed and everything else that your lungs can take
then keep wishing for prince charming to come and kiss you out of imminent destruction
and death.
Let’s snap out of the dream my dear sisters and
prove to our mothers that their efforts to create a better tomorrow for us was
not in vain. The only way for women to prove to the world that there is more to
them than trophies to be won for simple bodily gratifications is to change from
within ourselves. We must prove that we are worth all the opportunities that
are being put out here for girls and women. Let us rewrite a new fairy tale and
show the men that we can be partners and not just partakers. Until you can
prove that you are more than just a partaker in a man’s success the man has no
reason to perceive you differently from the way he does today.
Look around you and pass my letter to other sisters
too.
With
love,
A
caring sister.
